12″ Discovery Drone
Once upon a time there was a giving girl called 12″ Discovery Drone. She was on the way to see her Sharon Lakeman, when she decided to take a short cut through Kensington Gardens.
It wasn’t long before 12″ Discovery got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Rags, but Rags was nowhere to be found! 12″ Discovery began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Rags. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a hysterical kitten dressed in a blue top hat disappearing into the trees.
“How odd!” thought 12″ Discovery.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed kitten. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, 12″ Discovery reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from aubergines, a house made from chocolates, a house made from pancakes and a house made from pancakes.
12″ Discovery could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
“Hello!” she called. “Is anybody there?”
12″ Discovery looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else’s chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving 12″ Discovery a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Rags!
“Rags!” shouted 12″ Discovery. She turned to the witch. “That’s my toy!”
The witch just shrugged.
“Give Rags back!” cried 12″ Discovery.
“Not on your nelly!” said the witch.
“At least let Rags out of that cage!”
Before she could reply, three hysterical kittens rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. 12″ Discovery recognised the one in the blue top hat that she’d seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
“Hello Big Kitten,” said the witch.
“Good morning.” The kitten noticed Rags. “Who is this?”
“That’s Rags,” explained the witch.
“Ooh! Rags would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!” demanded the kitten.
The witch shook her head. “Rags is staying with me.”
“Um… Excuse me…” 12″ Discovery interrupted. “Rags lives with me! And not in a cage!”
Big Kitten ignored her. “Is there nothing you’ll trade?” he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, “I do like to be entertained. I’ll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door.”
Big Kitten looked at the house made from pancakes and said, “No problem, I could eat an entire house made from pancakes if I wanted to.”
“That’s nothing,” said the next kitten. “I could eat two houses.”
“There’s no need to show off,” said the witch. Just eat one front door and I’ll let you have Rags.”
12″ Discovery watched, feeling very worried. She didn’t want the witch to give Rags to Big Kitten. She didn’t think Rags would like living with a hysterical kitten, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other two kittens watched while Big Kitten put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Big Kitten. “Just you watch!”
Big Kitten pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more. And more.
Eventually, Big Kitten started to get bigger – just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of chocolates, he grew to the size of a large snowball – and he was every bit as round.
“Erm… I don’t feel too good,” said Big Kitten.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He’d grown so round that he could no longer balance!
“Help!” he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Kitten never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Rags remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Average Kitten stepped up, and approached the house made from pancakes.”I’ll eat this whole house,” said Average Kitten. “Just you watch!”
Average Kitten pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pancakes. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
After a while, Average Kitten started to look a little queasy. She grew greener…
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. “What’s this bush doing here?” he asked.
“I’m not a bush, I’m a kitten!” said Average Kitten.
“It talks!” exclaimed the woodcutter. “Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I’d better take it away before somebody gets hurt.”
“No! Wait!” cried Average Kitten, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the kitten away under his arm.
Average Kitten never finished eating the front door made from pancakes and Rags remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Little Kitten stepped up, and approached the house made from pancakes.”I’ll eat this whole house,” said Little Kitten. “Just you watch!”
Little Kitten pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pancakes. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Kitten started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating pancakes for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Kitten into the sky.
“Aggghhhhhh!” cried Little Kitten. “I’m scared of heigh…”
Little Kitten was never seen again.
Little Kitten never finished eating the front door made from pancakes and Rags remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
“That’s it,” said the witch. “I win. I get to keep Rags.”
“Not so fast,” said 12″ Discovery. “There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from aubergines. And I haven’t had a turn yet.
“I don’t have to give you a turn!” laughed the witch. “My game. My rules.”
The woodcutter’s voice carried through the forest. “I think you should give her a chance. It’s only fair.”
“Fine,” said the witch. “But you saw what happened to the kittens. She won’t last long.”
“I’ll be right back,” said 12″ Discovery.
“What?” said the witch. “Where’s your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Rags back.”
12″ Discovery ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from aubergines and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
12″ Discovery sat down on a nearby log.
“You fail!” cackled the witch. “You were supposed to eat the whole door.”
“I haven’t finished,” explained 12″ Discovery. “I am just waiting for my food to go down.”
When 12″ Discovery’s food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from aubergines. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, 12″ Discovery was down to the final piece of the door made from aubergines. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. 12″ Discovery had eaten the entire front door of the house made from aubergines.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. “You must have tricked me!” she said. “I don’t reward cheating!”
“I don’t think so!” said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. “This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Rags or I will chop your broomstick in half.”
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
12″ Discovery hurried over and grabbed Rags, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Rags was unharmed.
12″ Discovery thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Sharon. It was starting to get dark.
When 12″ Discovery got to Sharon’s house, her threw her arms around her.
“I was so worried!” cried Sharon. “You are very late.”
As 12″ Discovery described her day, she could tell that Sharon didn’t believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
“What’s that?” asked Sharon.
12″ Discovery unwrapped a doorknob made from chocolates.
“Pudding!” she said.
Sharon almost fell off her chair.